Summer Time
by cupidity11
Summary: Dib leaned against the door jamb and made a point to take a long swig from his water bottle before saying anything to the glaring idiot standing on his porch.


_Summary:_

_The doorbell rang and Dib had already been waiting for it, but he still took about 30 seconds before opening the door. On the other side was the expected sight of Zim, sans invader uniform in his summer clothes (shorts and a t shirt he'd bought from some department store, they were kid sized). His wig was wilting and his face was flushed from the heat. Dib leaned against the door jamb and made a point to take a long swig from his water bottle before saying anything to the glaring idiot standing on his porch._

_Notes:_

_a little one shot based on this post( post/81937448757) because I read it and was struck with inspiration which i haven't been in a long time so, thanks so much irkencasualwear. it's a zade/zadf sort of thing. and also mrs. feeny is a kind of homage to hideousblob's stories and dib's troubles there too. sorry for any mistakes. i wrote this really fast._

* * *

The doorbell rang and Dib had already been waiting for it, but he still took about 30 seconds before opening the door. On the other side was the expected sight of Zim, sans invader uniform in his summer clothes (shorts and a t shirt he'd bought from some department store, they were kid sized). His wig was wilting and his face was flushed from the heat. Dib leaned against the door jamb and made a point to take a long swig from his water bottle before saying anything to the glaring idiot standing on his porch.

"Hot out there?" He asked. Dib was himself, also dressed in shorts and a t shirt but he was comfortable inside his air conditioned abode.

"It's fine." Zim waved off the heat even though he was obviously sweating. Dib checked the time on his watch even though he already knew it was 9 am. Zim got bored. Dib wasn't bored he had plenty of things he could be doing but, it really was hot outside soo…

He stepped outside, closing the door behind him. The summer heat immediately washed over him, and beads of sweat were already forming. They could do this inside but, 1. There was no way he was inviting Zim into his house and 2. Gaz wouldn't allow them to make noise. So, outside in the searing heat it was. It was only 9 in the morning and it would get hotter.

There was, thankfully, a bit of shade on his porch so the two of them took shelter there, sitting,leaning against the front door. A moment or two of silence passed between them. Dib was thinking about the sprinklers that he'd purposefully set to 6 pm. That was when their agreement ended and began.

A small, much too small, breeze passed over them and Zim immediately leaned away from Dib, fake gagging. "Do you ever bathe stink-brain?"

Dib rolled his eyes, unwillingly feeling a prickle of annoyance. "I bathed this morning, shut up. Like you have any room to talk? You always smell like an Elmer's glue bottle exploded everywhere. "

Zim scoffed but didn't deny it probably because he actually did bathe in a whole tank of Elmer's glue. "Well, at least my head isn't abnormally large."

Honestly, Dib had heard that stupid insult so many times in his life that it shouldn't have gotten to him anymore. And when anyone else said it to him, he brushed it off and filled his brain with more important things. But, for some reason whenever Zim said it, his hackles rose and he was as defensive and annoyed as he had been when he was ten when someone said it to him for the first time.

"At least I'm taller than the 4th graders!"

"At least I don't have, uhgh, face!"

"Great insult. Who taught it to you? Your mom? Oh wait."

"Me?! You don't even have a mom!"

"Lots of kids don't have a mom! You're an alien with a robot arm for a parent!"

"Oh yeah!? Well—"

From inside, a muffled but clear voice yelled, "Be quiet!"

They both instantly shut up. Somewhere someone was mowing their law. They both wrinkled their noses. Well, Dib wrinkled his nose. Zim just wrinkled. Dib was allergic. Zim hated the smell. And was also probably allergic because he seemed to be allergic to earth in general. Flies buzzed. Inside, the air conditioner whirled and the TV droned on.

They sighed at the same time and both refused to acknowledge it. It's a good thing that Gaz stopped them. It was too hot to fight. That was why their agreement was in place.

Zim, for once, broke the silence. "My neighbor knocked on my door yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to buy cookie dough or something."

Dib stared straight out at the street, where the heat was waxing and waning. He pretended not to listen.

"Their kid's fund raiser thing or something, I dunno." Zim continued. Out of the corner of his eye, Dib watched the alien studying his hands. They were gloveless. Three, freaky, green fingers. Claws and little scars. "And Gir. Gir wanted all of it."

Dib rolled his eyes. He knew where this was going. "Did you buy all of it?" And immediately got mad at himself for even asking the question because he didn't care and didn't want Zim to think he cared.

"No! I don't have the kind of monies for that! It was so overpriced! I'm not rich off my famous father unlike some people; I have to work for my monies." Dib rolled his eyes for the third time that day.

"Subtle jab, Space-boy. And don't you like…steal your monies—money?" Zim sniffed, indignantly. How did he do that without a nose?

"No, thank you very much. I work hard for it." Dib considered asking how, but decided against it. He just added it to his list of things to investigate.

"Uh huh." Dib agreed, sarcastically.

"Anyway," Zim continued and then stopped. Dib had the feeling that he had forgotten what he'd been talking about.

"Gir wanted all the cookie dough." Dib supplied, before drinking from his water bottle. There was already condensation forming on the inside.

"I was getting to that." Dib did not roll his eyes, but it took some effort. "Gir was whining and tugging on my pant leg and I was trying to seem inconspicuous like we're supposed to be, like a good invader does, and so finally I had to buy some of the wretched stuff and guess what?! It's not even coming for another week!" Zim flailed his arms about and nearly smacked him in the face.

"Sucks to be you."

"And Gir was still whining, almost crying! So, I had to go out, to the grocery store, with all the annoying, dirty people and sift through the horrible aisles to buy a tube of cookie dough and wait in line! Just to get my stupid minion to be silent."

Dib had forgotten how tired the heat made him. And also how tired Zim's whining made him.

Another moment of silence passed as Zim fumed about nothing that could be helped any more. Dib figured it was his turn now.

"You know, Mrs. Feeny?"

Zim grumbled. He took that as a 'yes'. "Well, she still thinks that I killed her dog. Even though I've gone so far as to provide an alibi to the time of death. So, on Monday she came over to my house and wanted to see dad. And guess what? He's not home. So she goes to his work and now dad took money from my allowance to help pay for…something? Vet bills? I don't know, even though I had nothing to do with it! The dog was dead when I got there!" Dib yelled in the direction of Mrs. Feeny's house.

There was a growl from inside the house and the two of them froze Zim mid- insult and Dib mid-fist shaking. Gaz opened the door and they nearly fell inside since they were leaning on it. "Be quiet. Old ladies gossip less than you do. Go somewhere else." And with that she slammed the door. They both rubbed their aching heads, glaring at each other.

"Your fault." They said at the same time, before wordlessly relocating to the curb. There was a bit of shade from the tree in his front yard that dad had installed when they were kids who liked to climb that sort of thing.

They bickered a bit more but stayed away from their neighbors which was one of their save subjects that most likely wouldn't encourage fights. That left Gir and School work. Oh and the paranormal. But, before those things could be properly discussed, soft music began to play from seemingly everywhere and the familiar voice told them that they wanted ice cream. That they loved it. Zim glared in the wrong direction, while Dib dug for pocket change. Down the street, morphing from the heat, a white truck with a giant ice cream cone on top drove slowly and with purpose. It stopped once or twice for little kids before it reached them.

Dib handed the old lady inside a twenty. "The bugs bunny pop please." He was given the treat, silently. The lady looked at Zim who was still sitting and looking anywhere but at the truck.

"Do you want one, Zim?" He asked politely. There was the faintest bit of a smirk. Ice cream had plenty of water in it.

"No, thank you." The alien declined, glaring up at Dib then away at the ground, once he realized for the thousandth time how tall his enemy was.

"Are you sure? They're really good and I have 15$ left. Come on. Your pick."

"I said, no, Dib!" Zim barked angrily.

"Alright, suit yourself." The truck drove away, the music continuing to drone on. He sat back down on the rough side walk and unwrapped the cartoon bunny. Except on the inside was a deformed and demented version of what was on the wrapper. It's gum ball eyes bulged. Dib took a lick. It tasted fine. Like overly priced ice cream on a hot day did.

"What, oh Tallest, is that?!" Zim screeched, pointing at the Popsicle as though Dib had no idea what he was talking about.

"It's an ice cream pop. Of a cartoon character." He smirked again, and held it towards the irken. "Want a taste?"

Zim scooted over about a centimeter, still not out of the shade. He wanted away from it but, didn't want it bad enough to leave the shelter from the sun. "No. no. It's all yours, Dib-thing." Zim did his best to hide the revulsion on his face.

Time passed. Dib finished his Popsicle, making a point to offer a bite even as the cream melted and the gumball colors began to drip. They moved with the shade and talked about their safe subjects. Zim complained about Gir. About the little robot's faulty programming, about the messes he made the trouble he got them into. Dib asked, for the hundredth time why Zim didn't get rid of him or turn him off and Zim, also for the hundredth time brushed it off; a gift from the tallest, you wouldn't understand, valuable technology, just some tinkering. Dib failed not to roll his eyes this time.

Dib talked about the paranormal, about the jobs he was planning on doing. About recent sightings and events and conventions and how he'd been promoted in the swollen eyeball network. Zim surprisingly didn't seem to find it annoying or stupid whenever Dib talked about this stuff. Maybe it was because the alien was also paranormal? Or maybe because he also found it slightly interesting? Dib preferred the former, since he didn't think he could handle them having a common interest.

And finally they talked about school work. Complained about homework and tests and classwork and their peers and their teachers. But, since it was summer that conversation was short and soon Dib went inside to get a deck of cards. This particular deck was Membrane Laboratories themed. So each card had little versions of his dad's face on them.

Dib didn't usually cheat but, with Zim he felt that he had to because Zim probably was going to anyway so, when he was inside he'd made a point to grab all the aces from another deck of Membrane cards. Now he would definitely win. They finally went back to the porch, since they could use the porch light if it got dark.

No matter what they did it seemed to always turn into a battle for earth. They played Go Fish! And Black jack and Gin Rummy and Old Maid and pretty much every card game they knew, plus a few alien ones that Zim tried to teach Dib.

The time was ticking down. The air was a bit cooler as the sun hung onto the day. Dib would check his watch, eager and also a bit reluctant which was stupid and he ignored that part because friendships with aliens, especially one like Zim who wanted to destroy his planet was a stupid idea for babies and people who didn't have the fate of the world on their shoulders.

Mosquitos were going to start biting soon but, they could worry about that after this game. Dib was winning because of his aces in the hole and Zim was obviously confused and flustered because he was a sore loser. But, also because suspiciously there were no aces except for the ones Dib had. And he irrationally got angry at Zim for cheating even though he was doing the same.

Dib forgot to check his watch but it didn't matter because when 6 o clock hit, the sprinklers exploded to life, watering the already green grass. Little sprays hit the two of them. Dib thought it felt nice and Zim was standing, hissing.

He kicked their pile of cards so that they went everywhere, some fluttered into the grass and were immediately drenched. "You cheated!"

"Me?! What about you?" Dib's fists were clenched and he was ready to run and punch and kick and all the aggression and annoyance from the day seemed to be balled up inside his chest.

"ZIM KNOWS YOU DIDN'T HAVE AN ACE FROM THE DECK BECAUSE I STOLE THEM AND I'M HOLDING THEM HOSTAGE!"

Dib growled and jumped to his feet. "I knew it! Yo—"

The door next to them opened so fast that they both screamed and step back. Gaz stood in the door jam, glaring. They both had twin faces of fear. "Be. Quiet. Or. Else. I'm in the middle of a very important battle and if I lose because of you two, I'll make you wish you were never born or hatched or whatever." She slammed the door and they both sagged in relief that she hadn't yet taken her wrath out on them. Yet.

"Your fault." They said in unison, again.

"NO! If you hadn't cheated—"

"Such pathetic lies! If you—"

"Oh shut up!"

Dib finally went for the first punch except Zim was too fast and jumped off the porch, into the sprinklers. He screeched and ran as fast as he could, try to dodge them and doing a bad job of it. Dib jumped after the alien.

"You better run, you cheating lizard!"

"Just a better tactical advantage, cheating uh cheater!" The summer night was warm enough to dry them off and yet a small breeze made it bearable. The black pavement was still warm. The orange street lights illuminated their battle field and they fought for earth, for the fun of it, against boredom and because it was what they did.

The summer night wore on and their yells and laughter, cruel and appreciative of a counter move filled the warm air. Gaz grumbled about 'stupid nerds and stupid summer'.


End file.
